The Hidden-Changing Roles of Parenting in a Digital Age
What is digital parenting?
Digital parenting is being a parent in an era of digital everything. It is about the parents guiding their children in life, empowering them how to navigate the digital platforms safely. In the digital era, children are exposed, whether one likes it or not, to digital communications, digital devices all around them, and in most cases, they can do more things on their parents phone, and other digital devices than their parents can do.
Join me in this and other episodes where I share some hidden, but very critical parenting challenges that parents could be facing as they try to bring up their children in this digital era. I take you back a little, and skim through the role of the parent as we know it.
When we talk about Parenting, we are talking about parents guiding their children, empowering them to navigate the journey of life safely. This is what parents have done before the digital era. We have taught children how to navigate the rural village, or neighborhoods, our towns, our local streets, and so on. In the big cities like Nairobi, parents sometimes need to know where their children are, who they are talking to, who they move with, their friends in social places i.e. school, church, school clubs and in the neighborhood.
A common feature in Kenya is that parents also build a wall of safety around their children by approving the family friends whom they trust. Their children grow together through their journey of life. Social cultural networks allow the family friends to meet often for “nyama choma” barbeque events, Sunday afternoon visits, village visits with women groups, and the more common social fabric in Kenya, “chamas”.
All these social set ups anchor the child as they are growing up, and by default, they become connected to a group of their age mates who are approved by parents. To some extent, these peer groups end up marrying from the group circles, or at least their pears do approve, and become part of their next life, the marriage life.
The social networks with whom we journey together as families to some extent, ease the parenting journey at every stage of life.
Now comes the Digital age in our life, and digital platforms tail along. What happens then?
Many parents might not have pondered to think how their parenting roles have changed in the presence of digital technology. Technology has shown its face in every aspect of the parents’ life, and that of their children. In order to understand the level of change that we are in, let us look at the parenting roles before the digital age, and after the digital arrival in our lives.
Figure It Out: Has anything changed?
| Parental Roles | |
| Before Digital presence | With Digital presence |
| It is to feed | x |
| Clothe | x |
| Shelter. | x |
| Parent provide protection | x |
| Guide | x |
| Provide security 24/07 | x |
| Ensure that your children are not going to dangerous places, | x |
| Keep them away from people who can set them astray. | x |
| Parents are the ones who know where their children are 24/07, | x |
| Who they are with | x |
| What they are doing | x |
| Plan their children’s next steps every day of their life | x |
| Take them to school | x |
| Provide books for children to read | x |
| Tag along to church | X |
| Visit friends over the weekend | x |
| Visit “shags” during school holidays | x |
| What else? Many more things parents do that cannot fit on a single list | Parents do lots of things as they used to do before the digital age |
Looking at the table above, parents’ aspirations and roles for their children has not changed. Their love, protection and everything else has remained the same.
So, what has changed?
When I started, I called these “Hidden-Changes”
One of the most critical and dangerous thing that has happened in parenting is the shifting in the decision making level. People make decisions based on the information that they have. It turns out that most children have more digital information, and can navigate the digital platforms more than their parents do. This means that children can make lots of decisions that parents will not know, while they are right under their care. This is the most dangerous state of parenting, never experienced since the beginning of the Human-kind, and not experienced in the animal kingdom. But there is a way out. Before we look at what we can do, the first step is to build awareness as parents. Understand the changes.
In the linked table “How Parenting Roles Are Changing in the Digital Age” I share the changes that have taken place, and how parenting roles have shifted from parent to child. But the most worrisome factor is that most parents might not be aware of these changes, and without such knowledge, it is difficult for them to take the necessary action in guiding their children how to navigate this digitally influenced life. For such parents, it is business as usual.
Check my next blog to learn more on this topic. READ MORE
